Have you ever wondered why other people don’t want you to succeed?
Success can be described as a lonely road off the beaten path.
Your friends will insist you’ve changed.
Your own family may not be supportive of your endeavors.
Doors may have closed that were once wide open to you.
And while another journey begins and new people and opportunities enter your life, the people you’ve loved and trusted for years may not understand your newfound aspirations, your positive soul transformation, your new zest for life.
There will always be people who aren’t going to be supportive of your vision and that’s perfectly okay. Stay with me here, I’ll explain.
I’ve experienced a revolving door of people who have stumbled in and out of my life.
I’ve had “friends” I’ve known for decades decide that the path I’m on is not one they want to follow along with me.
I learned that this is part of change.
Change is permanent. But people aren’t.
When you decide that you won’t settle for less, when you decide that you want to live the life you’ve always dreamed of, when you decide that “good enough” just isn’t good enough…
You are going to break the rules. You are going to be a game changer. And people are going to feel outraged, naked and vulnerable by your audacity and courage to make a real difference.
If you are here, chances are you are yearning for something truly freeing and life-changing.
You’ve done some deep soul-searching and discovered that you want far more out of life than what many others around you believe you should be “satisfied and content” with.
I’ve been there. I’ve lost friends that I’d depended on my entire life at the drop of a dime. Friends that left the second they found out I was doing all that was necessary and in my power and abilities to change my life for the better.
They may have left. But I’m still standing. And I’m still getting everything out of life that I want, and so much more.
You can too.
The Day My Friend Liz Turned Her Back on Me
After 8 years, a close personal friend of mine named “Liz” one day suddenly cut off all contact.
It was a cold, blustery November afternoon when I arrived in town to see my family and friends over the Thanksgiving holiday. I moved away a couple years prior to a neighboring state and it had been nearly a year since I’d last visited.
I phoned Liz the week prior to tell her I’d be in town. I thought it would be just like old times and I was super excited. She was excited, too.
She insisted I stop by for “one of our long visits” and was very eager for my arrival. She’d texted nearly everyday leading up to the big day, “I can’t wait to see you!”
For the past 6 months I’d been on a strict fitness and weight loss plan. I’d dropped about 20 pounds. It was a pretty drastic change.
While I was by no means fat before, by this time, I was tiny.
I spent the past 6 months working my tail off and I reached my fitness goal.
I’d also gotten a brand-spanking new job to go with my newfound figure. Liz was so excited to hear about the new job opportunity (I hadn’t mentioned my weight loss because I didn’t want seem like a braggart).
It was 2pm. I finally arrived. I knocked on Liz’s door.
A brief pause. Some visible hesitation. She invites me in.
The look on her face. The narrowing, distrustful eyes scanning my body from head-to-toe. A dozen daggers piercing me a trillion times with each passing, painful sneer.
That said it all.
Then came the catty comments.
“Wow, you’re getting really skinny. I hope you’re not sick or anything!”
“You seem like you’re high maintenance now. You’ve really changed.”
“What have you been doing? And why are you suddenly so obsessed with being so good at everything?”
See, when I knew Liz before my transformation, I had not yet abandoned my negative mentality.
Liz and I were strictly “friends” in misery. You know what I’m talking about–people who hang around you only because you are as unhappy and miserable as they are.
I was shocked. I was hurt. I felt unloved and ashamed. I felt betrayed and she succeeded in making me feel as though I was only making positive changes with the sole purpose of making her feel bad about herself!
“She came up here to show off her new job and her new figure and act like she’s better than me!”
“She has the nerve to come here and act like her sh*t don’t stink!”
The writing was on the wall. It’s true, I had changed. But so had Liz. And these changes were permanent. Our friendship would never be the same.
I wish I could tell you that things blew over.
I wish I could tell you Liz and I are still friends.
I wish I could tell you that we talked it out and set our differences aside and she was happy for me in achieving my goals and making a better life for myself.
Alas, it would never be. That blustery autumn day was the last time I spoke to Liz. She no longer stayed in touch and made no effort to be in my life.
Liz, and so many others like her, are no longer in my life. People I’ve known for over 30 years are no longer in my life.
They are no longer in my life because they could not accept seeing me dare to accomplish what they will not.
Happiness is a Mirror Reflection
When other people are happy, when they are accomplished, when they are pursuing their dreams with the gusto and the determination, and they are transforming their dreams into realities, it can be an indication that we aren’t doing enough.
Most people aren’t doing enough. And that is the 100% truth.
When you’re a go-getter, when you’re a game changer, when you’re moving along at a pace off the beaten path, you’re going to be doing a lot more than the majority of the people around you, and then some.
Everyone wants happiness. Everyone wants money. Everyone wants that perfect fairytale relationship. Everyone craves the love and esteem of others. It’s a universal human pursuit to want the best out of life.
But the reality is, a very large majority of people are unwilling to go out and achieve it all for themselves.
And unfortunately when others are not achieving these goals for themselves, they can become disgruntled. They become envious. They become resentful that other people are doing what they will not.
A person who cannot and will not congratulate you on your good fortunes in life is not a reflection on you. It’s a reflection on themselves.
You can’t expect people to come along and fill your cup if their cup is empty.
Your Decisions Are Going to Alienate Others
Leveling up is hard. Not only from a personal effort and mental conviction standpoint, but from a personal relationship standpoint.
A lot of people who achieve happiness, good fortune and abundance not only face an ongoing internal battle within themselves to stay on the path to success, they face a never-ending external battle with other people who disapprove of their motivations and lifestyle choices.
Working towards your goals is going to cause people to be curious about you. And that curiosity is going raise controversy and pose numerous questions.
“What is driving this person? Why are they so determined to show off?”
“Why is this person seeking so much attention when they were completely happy being a nobody before?”
“This person has serious issues. They are posing unrealistic expectations for the rest of us. They think they’re better than everyone else.”
I’ve heard it all before. I’ve had not only friends and family disgruntled at my game changing pursuits, I’ve had complete strangers pass judgement on me just the same!
People call them haters. Detractors. Critics. Naysayers.
I call them outsiders. Because they are outside of my realm of existence. They are outside of my circle and completely separate from my being and my reality. And outside is where they shall remain.
Not only are you eliminating bad habits, outdated modes of thinking and soul-crushing snags on your pursuits and ambitions, you are eliminating people from your circle who are not supportive of your achievements.
They allowed themselves to become outsiders. They pushed you away, remember? And it’s in your best interest that they remain outside and separate from everything you have become.
Your happiness and success makes them very uncomfortable. It makes them feel inadequate and incomplete.
It makes them feel that something is missing within themselves. Because it is.
However, it’s not your job to change their lives into something worth believing in. It’s theirs, and theirs alone.
Stop Letting People Make You Feel Bad About Your Happiness and Success
I used to feel this nagging guilt about being successful among other people.
Like Liz, people would talk about my hair. My car. My job. My weight. My makeup, my clothes. It felt awful to stand out.
I felt that by shrinking, by being less noticeable and more unpopular, by being more regular and normal (whatever that means) people would respect me more.
More people would want to be my friend.
More people would open up to me.
More people would be receptive to my presence and ultimately, to my ideas.
While that may have been true for a while, the quality of the people in my life who encouraged me to be substandard were themselves, substandard.
They were the type of people who would up and leave the moment things were on the up-and-up for me.
They were the type of people who would judge me harshly for wanting more out of life than what was “just good enough.”
They were the type of people who wouldn’t celebrate the breakthrough changes I was making.
And that never made any sense to me.
How could anyone who proclaims to be your friend, who claims to be a person who cares about you, who is loyal to you, how on earth could they not want you to succeed?
Unfortunately, that’s the way the world works. People are constantly in flux and competing for resources. And happiness, money, success and abundance are resources. Resources that are in demand.
When you have something people want very badly, they will covet it. And if they can’t ultimately take it from you, they’ll denigrate it, curse it, sabotage it, and lure it away from you.
It’s up to you to stand in the face of their opposition.
It’s up to you to stand tall and proud and stay determined to carve a path for yourself in this thing we call “life.”
There will always be opposition. It’s up to you to triumph.
Do that by making a commitment to yourself to always remain positive.
Commit to making small changes every day that will add up to big changes in the future.
Commit to letting people come and go, and realizing that those who deserve to be in your life will not sabotage your success, but will instead welcome, celebrate and encourage it!
Commit to staying on the path, no matter how hard other people around you are making it for you to succeed.
You are tougher than they are. You decided to make a change.
They didn’t. They stayed on the easy path.
You may have changed, but they stayed the same.
The power of your circumstances remains within you. Be well.